Reflections

I learnt something today. When you have a flat with crisp white walls and a jar of pesto with the lid not fastened as secure as you would hope. Dont give the jar a good shake. It gets messy.

Today I have learnt that life isn't all biscuits and sandwiches.

Twisting My Melon

I was watching VH1 and Pet Shop Boys "Heart"was playing, the one with the vampire and the bride. The wierd thing was I am pretty sure that the vampire is played by none other than Burnley's own Sir Ian Mckellen. Gandolf in a Pet Shop Boys video! That would normally be enough to twist my melon but there is more.

Manchester was a lot of fun. I especially enjoyed meeting the Hyndburn Correspondant's(HC) sister after many long years. After a night of surprises for friends who have not seen me for a while (with the drinking and smoking) we were having a good time and HC got us in to the Press Club which is supposed to be an exclusive late night venue where the Corrie stars hand out. Not that I would know any of them. between you and me I was hoping to spot Lucy Meacock. For so long i have hidden my affection for her. Perhaps tonight would be the night. That would have make me very happy.

Anyway, dont be dissapointed if you cant get in to the Press Club as it is little more than a working mens club with a sticky floor. Anyway, I was in the gents and this guy stood next to me. Typical manc guy with the manc accent giving all the "all right" "im buzzin" and the like. Scruffy fellow and his cloth was poor i thought. Anyway, it turns out it was Bez from the Happy Mondays.

That was the highlight of my night. He does dance like a monkey on acid though. This was a really good night out. In fact it was such a good night out if you were not then then you are a loser (as HC put it). I agree with him

60% Of The Time It Works Every Time

Off to manchester tonight. I have invested in a new grey jumper after I burst out of the last one like the hulk. It is merino wool and very soft to touch. They did a study and appently 60% of women find men who wear grey jumpers irresistable. It is going to be a night where I will have to enfore the rules strictly. It is the Hyndburn Correspondants birthday and I putting myself up in a nice hotel with FACT (Financial Affairs Correspondant Tim) who I shall now refer to as Tim. This causes a problem as how do I refer to my juggling mentor (and writer of A Free Man in Preston). I shall call him Bob. I miss Bob.

Anyway, myself and Tim are in the same room as neither of us could get in anywhere cheap and at made financial sense (as you would expect when Tim is involved). The idea is weirding me out. What if he wants to snuggle?

Amsterdam Nights 3

I wake up in a sweat. My heart is racing. I look around trying to figure out if I am still dreaming. But there is no sign of Danielle Lloyd and one of the german women in bikinis wrestling in an inflatable swimming pool filled with warm baby oil. Ronnie corbett is not refereeing in a black and white striped shirt. It was all a dream.

Reality is far different. The german chicks are long gone. The new leader of the passepartout (the stag) is ordering me out of bed and into the shower
"No time for breakfast!"
"Get packed in the next five minutes!"
"Find the room keys!"
I guess the holiday is over. But it was worth it.

I learnt how to bimble. And I love it

Amsterdam Nights 2

My short stint as mother duck is over. In a coup d'etat the group decided that my methods of giving directions was oppressive and a new regieme has taken over. It didn't bother me but one of the passepartout compared me to a modern day Idi Amin (without the cannibalism). I felt this was a little harsh.
Is is morning two, breakfast is two fried egss and toast. That was breakfast yesterday morning. It will be breakfast tomorrow.

My recently purchased towel is the best purchase of the trip so far as it became apparent soon after arrival that the hotel did not provide them. However, the trip to the Heineken Brewery is a close second. I tried my first Heineken. It was crisp smooth and of premium quality. None of that mattered as it tasted really really bad and i gave my remaining tokens for the free drinks to the group. I wish i had taken a picture of the table we were on. The number of drinks out numbered the people around it by 3 to 1. I wanted to think that was because the drinks were free. But this was one constant throughout this second day.

My head hurts and I have found an inflatable sheep in my satchel.
I dont know where it came from.

Amsterdam Nights 1

I blog from my hotel reception today. It is my first morning in amsterdam.

You would think that a hotel with free internet access would be up to my normal standards but last night I slept on a bunk in a room with five other bunks. There are ten of us in this room. It is a stag do. The man on top of me snores like a kitten purrs. It is very soothing.

I have become immune/de-sensitised to what I see here. It is weird that I have become so accepting of what I see. Highlight of last night was walking one of the passepartout home after he indulged a bit too much. We have adopted an all for one and one for all rule. This was despite my objections. So when he fell asleep standing on his feet with his eyes open we all walked him home.

We bumped into a lovely hot german couple who have struggled with their reservation. The two hot girls told the hostel/hotel they would arrive at 1. They (the hot girls) turned up at 7 and were told their room has been given to someone else. A little harsh I thought (on the hot girls).

I am trying to pursuade the group to let them stay in our room as it is the right thing to do.

Forever the humanitarian.

The Bus

I rode the bus today! I enjoyed it. A lot. I handed my car in to be serviced and I had no alternative. I hold nothing against buses but I have not used one for a while. It was nice to sit with random people. It had a wierd vibe. I like stangers. We made small talk. I found out the orign of the phrase "woolly back" and aparently I am one.

When I got off I felt great. I look forward to my next trip. This week I am going to ride a plane.

On a slightly different note I have done something I regret. I went to visit my folks in my home town and the following morning made a trip to the local supermarket looking for breakfast stuff. I had not shaved, was wearing an old Century 105 t-shirt some baggy jogging pants and an old jacket. I didnt really care as it was a quick in and out thing. But I bumped into someone. I looked at and this person and thought "wow, that guy looks like John (old schoool friend), only older and bald" It was John! (John was a scientist and he was hooked on LSD, interested in mind control and why the monkey held the key). I looked like a bum. He thinks I am a bum. I need to change my friends reunited message or the rest of my old scocial circle is going to think i am a bum.

I can relate to someone I know (they will kill me if i say who) who had a car accident on the one day she work underwear with a hole in it. She was gutted when the doctors saw it.

Gay Paris

I have given up with the headline thing. It is too much hard work. I just got back from Paris which was lovely and provided me with pleanty of oppotunity to work on my cheese puns like switching the word better for fetta. Passepartout quickly told me that my puns were getting a bit grating and that I should stop. So I did. Up until now. Sorry.

Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine

I met a lady after I went to see James Morrisson in Manchester. He was very good and I met "Jenny" (actually her real name but I wanted to use the Killer's lyric so threw my principle of not naming people out the window) in the gay village and she did not like dolphins! What the hell? If it wasnt for the fact that she fascinated me the conversation would not have lasted much longer. She thought that they were the care in the community equivalent of the sea world. Talking to her to very enjoyable, she was intoxicating. I must catch up with her in the future.

Anyway, I just remembered that I had promised to meet up with an old school friend last summer and never came through. It wasnt like one of those "yeah yeah will catch up soon" jobbies it was a proper agreement. I cant arrange somethin now six months down the road. That is far too cheeky. I also have a confession. I have a three year old email from another friend which I kept with the intention of writing back.