Residents Warned of Doppelganger Threat

There is a doppelganger loose in the town where i grew up. Worse still he lives a few doors away from my old house. He drives the same car as me but his is a bit bigger and has body coloured mirrors. His sense of dress is better than mine. And he uses all my jokes and comic material. He is filling the void (and it is a void) that I left when I moved to Liverpool.
If I visit my home town next weekend and find him having bruch with my folks there is going to be trouble.
This town aint big enough for both of us...