College Reunion : Strictly Come Dancing

The second night of the college reunion is traditionally a themed party and this year it was a Strictly Come Dancing theme, there was a Bruce Forsythe look-a-like and the works. Unfortunately, Chip had gone home during the day so good company was harder to come by. Thankfully, I bumped into Hannah the Occupational Therapist who was my dancing partner from a previous reunion and we hit the dance floor. I had been coached the night before by some seasoned dancers who had come up from London especially for the dance off and they gave me pointers (Hands and arms closer to my hips not my head, no more pointing, no more biting lower lip, confident smile).

As the night went on I became more and more confident and I can remember running/dancing on one spot. I am sure it looked good(?).
I didn't want the night to end, even when the music stopped Hannah and I kept dancing. We had to do it by singing Queen - Don't Stop Me Now. The only problem is my voice gets croaky at 2am and neither of us new the words.... It didn't stop us

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't wanna stop at all

College Reunion : The Manchester Diaries

I like the reunions as often you meet people who who have never met before or you meet people you only see at the reunion. I was working the crowd last night, I was feeling confident as I was wearing my Bat Fink t-shirt which means that I don't have to come up with an opening line. People do the work for me. Lazy, I know.

To my surprise the opening line I got was someone calling my name when I had no idea who they were. It was a guy who now works for the Chile Information Project so we will call him Chip. Chip knew one of the minxes and as a result knew a lot about me (scary).

Chip and I got on great (ignore his comment about my girly looking nails) and he taught me about the "Cointreau Wave". Then he showed me the wave. I waved, he waved and then we parted company so that I could continue to work the crowd. I look forward to seeing Chip next year.

Over and over and over and over and over
Like a monkey with a miniature cymbal
The joy of repetition really is in you
Under and under and under and under and under
The smell of repetition really is on you
And when I feel this way I really am with you

College Reunion

Every June my old college arranges a two night reunion and each year it is hosted in a different UK city. This year it is held in Manchester which is where I will spent the next couple of nights. I don't have high hopes this year as on the way over to Manc a crow flew itself, kamikaze style, into a van I was driving behind and looped onto my windscreen. I hope it was the wind blowing it bent wing and that it was not still alive as i swept it into the middle lane with my wiper. Surely this cant be a good sign? (rhetorical)

Its face haunts me in my sleep.

To make matters worse i was accosted by a stripper called Bailey. I wont go into it

Is This A Dagger Which I See Before Me?

Been out hunting this week in the peak district. I learnt quickly that I was rubbish at it so I picked on some easier targets.
You may judge but when you have to feed youself you have to hunt.
If you are rubbish at fishing etc you get hungry.
If you are hungry and you come across this (below) you think all your prayers have been answered.
So I asked myself, what would Ray Mears do?
Lucky I packed my Marks and Spencer BBQ marinade (and a knife).

Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just cant function no more?
When (my) love (of BBQ chicken), love will tear us apart again

When The Sun Hits The Sky

Feeling a little under the weather and I still don't have GP in the city so I headed off to the NHS walk in centre on Great Charlotte Street. If you are thinking of going be aware they ask strange questions. Most of them ask for simple answers; name, address date of birth.
But then they ask hypotheticals;
Where would you go if you didn't come here?
If all the seat were taken would you stand or sit on the floor?
Would you be more comfortable wearing corduroy trousers in the day or evening?
It was all a little bit weird

Top 5 Pies
1) Chicken and mushroom with a yorkshire pudding on top (served in The Wellington in Preston)
2) Star Gazy Pie (heard about this yesterday)
3) Pizza Pie
4) 3.14
5) Apple Pie

When The Sun Goes Down

I found myself in the Anglican Cathedral's grave yard last night and believe you me it is a scary place. I was with a guy called Artichoke who was scary enough and he was showing me the supernatural side of Liverpool. He also showed me the pyramid grave in the grounds of St Andrews church on Rodney Street. Legend has it that William McKenzie, who is buried there, was quite a gambler and one night he was challenged by a mysterious dutch man called Mr B.L Ze Bob (who always wore red shoes) to a game of poker.

Mr McKenzie was a wealthy man, and a known womaniser, who prospered as Liverpool developed into the major shipping port in the world . However, he did have a soft spot for one bit of strumpet who unfortunately died at a young age which made McKenzie angry. So angry that he threw his bible into his living room fire and became an atheist (back in the day being an atheist and a bible burner was not the done thing). Anyway... the game of poker.

Mr Ze Bob and McKenzie played into the early hours of the morning and things were not going well (for McKenzie) and he lost everything! Mr Ze Bob offered a chance to win everything back. The condition was that McKenzie must wager his soul on the last hand.
You would think, being an atheist, this wouldn't bother him but McKenzie fell to his knees and cried like a girl when he lost. Mr Ze Bob laughed and said (with big booming voice) "Do not cry my defeated foe, I will not take your soul until you are laid to rest in your grave." There was then a puff of smoke and the geezer was gone.

McKenzie, thinking this opponent may have been Lucifer, came up with a great plan. If on his death he was buried above the ground then Lucifer could not claim his prize.
So he is buried in here, entombed, sitting at a table holding a winning hand against his chest.


Top 5 Ghosts
1) Casper
2) Obi Wan Kenobe
3) Patrick Swayze
4) The old librarian at the start of Ghostbusters
5) Dementors

Turn Forever Hand In Hand

Russell Brand and I were chatting on the south back of the Thames about this and that. We look like a modern day Laurel and Hardy with his skinny jeans and my broadening (is that a word?) upper body and baggy t-shirts. Unfortunately the joys of people watching when in one spot can be quite ephemeral so we hopped on a big red open top bus and took a tour of London as evening drew in.

My dreams are getting stranger and stranger.

Top 5 Comedians, Comedy Actors and Comedy Duos
1) Dave Spikey
2) Jimmy Carr
3) Morecambe and Wise
4) Richard Prior and Gene Wilder
5) Lenny Henry Ricky Gervais

We Live and Die In These Towns

Walking down Victoria Street in Liverpool today was the place to be. Everyone was out, tourists with snapping cameras, well dressed men with slicked back hair and their tidy wives.
There was one curly haired man who stood out from the crowd, not because he had big curly blond hair and was wearing shorts and flips flops. He stood out because he was Ben Lunt from Shipwrecked and he had a crowd of girls hanging off him. So much fame in such a short time is impressive which makes me wonder, who are my top five famous Liverpudlians?

Top 5 Famous Liverpudlians
1) Mike Myers
2) Kim Cattrall
3) Cilla Black
4) Craig Charles
5) Tom Baker

Away From Here

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! What a great time at the cricket. Myself and the Playwright headed off to Old Trafford with our brie and grape sandwiches, my new sun hat and a six pack of cold beers (security took these from us and the front door) but I would burn in the fires of hell before they took my hat. Not that they wanted it, they just wanted the beers. A bit of a waste of a speech and my big voice.

It was a great day of cricket and to top it all we had three streakers!!! The strangest thing was when one of the streakers approached our stand men who had not taken a photo all day whipped out their cameras to record the memory. Unusual.

Anyway, exciting times, Playwright and I are joining the boys and girls for a break in the hills of Derbyshire on one weeks time. When i spent more time with the group we did lists, you know, Top 5 Cheese's (mmm)/Girl Bands (grrr)/Famous people you have seen (and touched) (ooh) etc.

In anticipation of my holiday I will be remembering my favourite Top 5's for the next seven days. Today it is...

Top 5 TV Animals
1) The Littlest Hobo (He would have stayed with me)
2) Diefenbaker (from Due South)
3) Skippy
4) Kermit The Frog (dont argue)
5) Big Bird

Are You Pushing It Out?

Did you ever make a compilation tape for a girl back when you were at school, record all the supposedly meaningful songs in your life on there and post it anonymously hoping that the recipient would understand what it all meant?

No?

Me neither.

Anyway, I cant believe what happened on Big Brother. Trust me to develop a soft spot for a racist, it is like what happened with Danielle Lloyd and that one from Girls Aloud.
Although with Danielle Lloyd it was just lust and with Girls Aloud it was by default.

You Can Call Me Al

The Rugby Correspondant called friday night, his boys from Cardiff had come up for the weekend and they were about in in the city tasting its delights. I met up with them on the docks and they were well into their eveing. Could have something to do with the fact that I fell asleep after i got back from work and only met them at 21:30. What? It had been a long week.

Anyway, these guys were big guys. I am not short or skinny but these guys were big guys.
I showed them all the prime sights in Liverpool. We hung out in Modo and Alma De Cuba before heading off to my favourite, 3345.

They were stuck for things to do on the saturday and the two things that came to mind were paintballing and clay pigeon shooting. It is worring that the only suggestions for man activities were gun related but it gave me a chance to show off some of my skill. Such was my accuracy on saturdays paintballing trip one of the lads said to me "If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal". This guy intrigued me. In a group of laddish lads surrounded by all that testosterone he came across as a male Mae Rose Cottage. I liked him.

However, now he keeps calling me Betty. There have been some late nights this weekend.

And all the people of the lulled and dumbfound town are sleeping now.
You can hear the dew falling, and the hushed town breathing.
Only your eyes are unclosed, to see the black and folded town fast, and slow, asleep.