80mph Winds Delay Firework Display

It is expected that 80 mph winds will run through Liverpool streets tomorrow so I have bailed and headed for safer shores inland. I am in my native home in East Lancashire.

Chrismas passed without a hitch. Everyone got their gifts, everbody liked their gifts, everybody got me gifts. Not that that is what it is all about.

I found inspiration. It came to me in a moment of clarity late in the shopping day. I do like to wait to see how things turn out if I apply some pressure.

Christmas eve in Liverpool is cool. We partied until all hours. I dont think i got home until midnight. We were doing it all, checking out the 'talent', 'dancing' and I 'put my hands up for New York'.

I can still cut it.

Stars Come Out At Knight

I have done most of the christmas present shopping (bar for one special person for whom I seek inspiration). I am in St Johns shopping centre at the moment taking in the festive atmosphere (and desperately seeking inspiration). I have staged a bit of a coup with regards to the Hyndburn Correspondant. I bought him Making Waves by David Hasselhoff. I think he will really like it.

I was told that they sell for about £80 on ebay if they are signed. And guess what? This one is signed!!! (not by me silly)

To reduce the risk of this gift ending up in an auction i put a little message in the inside cover. It reads:

"The Hoff told me (when he signed this book) about how much he missed his friends back home. Especially those who he cares about the most. But his firends know that he cares for them and when their need is most they can call upon him for help (and the occasional sentimental word of wisdom [Post dramatic aquatic rescue CPR]).
I like to think there is a little bit of 'The Hoff' in all of us.
Merry Christmas
Liverpool Man"

Merry Christmas to you all.

Friends Reunited

I just had a look at my Friends Reunited profile which was dated to say the least. It is strange that I very rarely struggle to describe myself (for personal ads etc) but when it comes to that website I struggle.

The best I could come up with was:
"I live in Liverpool now. It can be as scary as it sounds".

I think this is poor, especially considering that I dont think it is that scary here and I was playing into the stereotype for a cheap laugh that was not even funny. I suppose the arguement I could make is that I was being ironic. But it it not well thought out irony. It's just words.

I think I have given this too much thought already and inexplicably I have Natural Blues by Moby in my head.
The one that goes "oh lordy, trouble so hard,
don't nobody know my troubles but God"

Innuendo is Rampant

I asked someone today if they wanted to go for a sandwich with me and one of the columnists. This was interpreted as something a bit naughty. Maybe it is the time of the year.

On an unrelated subject. I got a text from the Manchester Gossip Editor which read "Oh my God. How amazing was that? Whooooo ;)"

I had no idea what they were on about. But if messages like that are read out of context then things can get out of hand.

I am still trying to find out what the context was.

Liverpool is a City Full of FAT(ties)

And I am one of them. FAT is the term used for Festive Automotive Tension (or road rage) (or at least that is what I read). Apparently it is on the increase in cities as people rush around trying to buy christmas presents.

So far the best ideas I have come up with are a sky diving voucher (for a friend who hates heights) and a sat nav system (for a friend who does not drive). I am struggling this year. I will come up with something. I HAVE to come up with something.

Anyway, I am going to get rid of some of my pre christmas chunkyness with some regular exercise. I play football on friday lunchtimes and this is where i realised that i need to start training properly. 30 minutes into a 60 minute game i lost my legs. It was worse fot the opposing team as i struggled to keep up with attacking players and started to chop them down in a cynical Greame Souness style. I perhaps would not have been so aggressive if i had not turned up to football late beacuse of the ruddy traffic.

Liverpool Headlines Vs Liverpool Echo

It appears that this is no longer a anonymous blog. People definately know who i am. However, my readership has doubled in the last couple of weeks, which is nice.

Breaking news on the flat across the hall! They have also have been rumbled and are clearing their office like a post administration cover up of all things sleazy and corrupt. I can hear paper being shredded (I know what that sounds like) and there are bloxes being thrown out with client files written on the side. I will try to sneak a peak at the files to gain greater insight and i will report back. But it a dangerous task.

Plus there is a new character on the scene. Her name, which was the best i could come up with at short notice, is Goth Lady. She looks like Death's mistress and never says a word. The scary silent type (who smokes in the court year).

I met her by the fake chrismas tree at the bottom of the stairs.

Fly to Liverpool From Cardiff

I was taking a well earned break this weekend spending time with friends in the lovely city of Cardiff. I was joined by the three minxs' of Monmouth and we had a fantastic time but I think four days was a day too much. Hysteria took hold on monday morning with one of the minxs becoming very sarcastic with everything that was put in front of her, another thinking she was a mime trapped in a box and the third laughed uncontrolably (often for no reason), although I did join in with the laughter. I got back to Liverpool feeling energised and also thinking that I need to add character to my character. Feel a little one dimentional so I have come up with a action plan. On the list is the following;
Spend more time with friends on weekdays
Go to more off the beaten track holiday destinations.
Blog more often
Run a half marathon
Learn to play a musical instrument

Two traits I need to get out of my character;
Make bold statements that are never backed up
Make promises that are never kept

I am going to use my blog as a foundation to write a tourist(y) guide to this fair city. I shall call it "This Is Liverpool"