Took me ages to come up with that and I am very proud of myself.
We started the day in the Lost Gardens Of Heligan which took us ages to find and to keeps us from getting lost in the 200 acre grounds we were given a map and a compass. It was like orienteering all over again. The best bit was seeing the baby owls which had eaten their siblings earlier in the year because they thought they looked tasty. Twisted.
I taught Alfie how to make owl noises by blowing into your hands and he is a quick learner. Within 90 minutes we had gone from muffled puff to playing "No Limits" by 2 Unlimited.
Then it was on to Walkabout in Newquay (not Newport as I originally thought) and the legendary Berties which was full of drunk women. I could have repeated yesterday's headline with a different meaning if you catch my drift. I had my bottom pinched twice and I was the victim of drunken cupping. It was a first. I felt a little violated.
I met a lady from Staines called Hannah who had a great pair of eyes on her. Entrancing. She was feeling lonely as her friend was off cupping men left right and centre. We spoke for a while and then I mentioned the owl calls and it went down hill from there. I think I need a new angle.
God knows what is hiding in that weak and drunken heart
I guess you kissed the girls and made them cry
Those hard faced Queens of misadventure
God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes
A fiery throng of muted angels
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